- Parent Category: Wrestling
- Category: The Wrestling Analyst
- Published on Thursday, 07 June 2012 10:38
- Written by The Wrestling Analyst
It happens from time to time in Wrestling as well as on TV shows.
An angle gets squashed half way or something is left unanswered. That is what we are looking at today- The questions that wrestling has left unanswered. Here are just a few:
What was in Undertakers urn? (WWE)
The weird little fat guy leading to the ring the man who later becomes the phenom. The Undertaker in the early days was powered by whatever was in the funeral urn held by Paul Bearer.
Many times Gorilla or the Brain would wonder what was in that thing while Piper screamed “He isn't human Mansoon!"
The Urn had a rough time through 1995. While the Undertaker feuded with Ted Dibiase's Money Inc, Karma, later of the Godfather fame, took the urn to "melt down". The Undertaker no longer needed the urn being brought to life by his creatures of the night (the people). Then in 1996 Paul turned on the Undertaker managing him for six years. The urn remained with Paul for a while but was phased out leaving the question of its contents unanswered.
Who kidnapped Samoa Joe? (TNA)
After losing a match to Orlando Jordan on Impact Joe was abducted by masked men. Seemingly kidnapped the question over the next few weeks remained who took Joe.
Well that question didn't remain for too long. The kidnapping story was dropped with no further mention and Joe returned as a surprise entrant in a main event tag match a few weeks later
Who was the anonymous RAW GM? (WWE)
From a time when Michael Cole would stand up and ask "Can I have your attention please - I have received an email from the anonymous general manager."
This anonymous GM would leave clues. One week the email read that the anonymous one "Never liked Bret Hart" another week it was heavily implied that the laptop was controlled by HBK. The laptop was even used to interrupt the Rock on his WWE return during one of the best promos of the decade. More on that in the coming weeks!
CM Punk v John Cena and the summer of Punk storyline brought Vince back as an on air personality. CM Punk "left" WWE with the world title. As a result WWE COO HHH removed Vince from day to day operations. The authority figure story-lines lead to the laptop being phased out. There were many RAW episodes where the laptop GM stand was set up but never written into story lines. As a result we don't know now and may never know who the anonymous RAW GM was.
Summer of Punk Promo. What was that about Vince and bullying?
“John Cena while you lay there hopefully as uncomfortable as you possib“John Cena while you lay there hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your WWE championship I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
“I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot better than most of the people in the back. I hate the idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s ass. You’re as good at kissing Vince’s ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne, though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Oops, I’m breaking the fourth wall (waves at camera).
“I’m the best wrestler in the world. I’ve been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company and I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right; I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar, and he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the WWE championship.
“I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s imaginary brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that. They’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me. And the fact that day in and day out for almost 6 years I’ve proved to everyone in the world that I’m the best on this microphone, in the ring, even on commentary. Nobody can touch me.
“Yet no matter how many times I prove it I’m not on your lovely little collector’s cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don’t get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s promoted at the top of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brien. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is I should be and trust me this isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Dwayne is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I’m not makes me sick.
“Let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big of a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones sipping out of those collector cups. You’re the ones who buy the programs that my face isn’t on the cover of and then at 5 in the morning in the airport you shove it in my face so you can go sell it on E-bay because you’re too lazy to get a real job.
“I’m leaving with the WWE championship on July 17 and who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I’ll go back to Ring of Honor. Hey Colt Cabana, how you doing? (looks at camera and waves)
“The reason I’m leaving is you people, because after I’m gone you’ll still pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel’s gonna keep turning and I understand that. Vince McMahon’s going to make money in spite of himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. Know why he’s not a billionaire? It’s because he surrounds himself with glad-handing, nonsensical douchebag yes men like John Laurinaitis who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear.
“And I’d like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon’s dead but the fact is it’s going to get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family. Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. We do this whole bully campaign…”
Then the microphone went dead.
What story about Vince and the bully campaign? Sadly it was become another of those unanswered questions. The promo here however is widely regarded as CM Punk's Austin 3.16 moment. It certainly got him some Austin style receptions from the crowd. Which controversially means the people agreed with what he had to say.