I have the courage and the self awareness to admit when I screw up (which is a lot). I wish I didn’t keep making the same mistakes or new ones but I do. I worry that one day I might mess up so badly that the effects cannot be undone. However, what if that day has already happened? Is it possible that I have a curse upon me, caused by my own gittish behavior?
I believe in curses as the only legitimate “magic” in the world. I don’t understand the mechanics but I believe it is possible to bring about misfortune on another or yourself through the power of the mind. On occasion events seem to conspire against me, in a way that is unlikely to be the result of pure coincidence. For example in my historical research it has proved absolutely categorically impossible to find a certain relative in any record. Every single avenue has drawn a blank, which has been incredibly frustrating. Then I used AI to try and work around the problem only for the system to start making up details. Which compounded my misery by giving me a false sense of hope and I was on the verge of losing my credibility by repeating the AI garbage. The moral of that story is always double check AI’s work but that is a different story to the one I am about to tell.
My curse began in my dreams as a child. I had two very distinct dreams about magic. In the first I would be walking past a white old crofters hut with skulls and potion bottles in the window. I didn’t see her but I felt the presence of a vindictive old crone who wanted to cause me harm. I was petrified that this recurring dream was actually a premonition and one day I would come face to face with the crone. My fear became so intense that I dreaded going to my grandmother’s house which I believed was close to where the crone lived. This one still scares me to this day, what if one day I see that place in real life? Completely out of the blue – how would you not go into complete meltdown.
In the second dream I would be shrunk by a magician to the size of a doll and placed inside a doll’s house. I would be desperate to escape but escape proved to be impossible because I was so small. I would hammer against the door and the glass but nobody could hear me scream. That’s when I would wake up screaming and refuse to go back to sleep because I knew the nightmare was waiting for me. Eventually I grew out of both dreams but not out of my belief in the power of curses.
It was years later that I believe I actually caused the curse upon myself. My own arrogance is usually my downfall, but twice I believe it has led to more than just humiliation. Firstly a lady came to the back door selling trinketry, I said we weren’t interested but she insisted that she’d been here before and an old woman had bought things. I said that was impossible as we had lived there for over 20 years. When I mentioned the visitor later to my mother she confirmed that she had bought items off the old lady. I realised the error and I felt that I may have made a very costly mistake. If only I could apologise for my rudeness and/or confirm my suspicions of a curse with a spiritualist healer/medium.
Secondly my great grandmother was a gifted spiritualist. She read people’s fortunes using a set of fortune cards and tea leaves. Her cards were passed down to my great aunt who only used them once, the cards read that the lady’s husband would die – which he did. My great aunt never used the cards again. Eventually she passed the cards onto myself. I always treated them with great respect for their possible power. However, over time I couldn’t resist doing a reading on myself. I had no idea at the time what I was doing nor what a terrible idea this was. Since then I hear things that aren’t there and see things that disappear without explanation. Perhaps I am cursed or my latent hereditary abilities have been partially unlocked but are unhoned.
This is a cautionary tale my friends, if you don’t understand something don’t mess with it and treat everyone with respect and kindness.