Beware The Spaceman

Author: Analyst

  • Ranking Elm Street: Freddy Vs Jason

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours

    Number 5: Freddy Vs Jason

    We’re moving outside of the Elm Street series here. Wes Craven’s New Nightmare in 1994 would see that out. (Here in the UK, the marketing even labelled it Elm Street Part 7.)

    Almost a decade later, in 2003, Englund picks up Freddy’s iconic glove one more time. This time his opponent isn’t Nancy, or Jesse, or the Dream Warriors, or Alice. It’s another iconic 80s slasher: Jason Voorhees.

    The Friday the 13th series predates Elm Street, its first outing landing in 1980. By 1982, Jason is wearing the hockey mask we all associate with him. By 1986 — and quite possibly influenced by Elm Street — Jason is resurrected, and the more supernatural elements of his character are in place. At the end of Jason Goes to Hell, the supposed finale for the series, Freddy’s glove appears. The stage is set for the crossover.

    Full disclosure: I haven’t seen all the Friday the 13th films. Maybe they should be on my list. But I saw enough back in the day to know what they were about, and a lot of the mythology was covered again in the Never Sleep Again documentary.

    What we get here is a battle that takes us to the iconic locations. There’s a psychiatric hospital very reminiscent of Dream Warriors. Camp Crystal Lake is also a key setting. The film is packed with callbacks to both franchises.

    Who wins? Well, that depends on how you read that final scene. But as an Elm Street guy… You thought Jason won? You must be dreaming.

  • My Car Boot Media Meltdown:


    Press Start (If You Can)

    It wasn’t really an attempt to go “retro”, but after decorating a bedroom I decided the room could do with a TV and a Blu‑ray player. Yes, I subscribe to Netflix and the rest. But something annoyed me — oddly not the prices going up every year. That’s sort of expected now, a fact of life sadly. It was the fact that I owned nothing.

    I don’t know if part of the urge was prompted by Sony’s announcement that they were no longer producing physical game discs. Was it nostalgia? Either way, my mind was set.

    I’ve got a decent Blu‑ray collection from the early 2010s. If there’s been a retro reaction column on it, chances are there’s a disc somewhere.

    The problem: by this time the budget was completely out. But I’m lucky enough to live near a car boot. So I prepared the space where this new TV was going to stand — bottom of the room, bed beside the window. Perfect.

    This was where the problems started.

    For clarity, I live in the UK, so your old TV problems might not be my old TV problems.

    First stall I came to: a Wharfedale TV. Not too big, has HDMI, perfect. Or so I imagined. I passed over my five English pounds. Yes — a TV for a fiver.

    Score: Money Spent £5 Time Spent: 20 minutes Sanity Level: It’s fine

    First thing I noticed was the on/off button on the remote didn’t work. But pressing channel 1 brought it to life. So I plugged my aerial (found in the attic) in and found absolutely nothing.

    Score: Money Spent £5 Time Spent: 50 minutes Sanity Level: Setbacks were expected. It was a fiver. It’s fine

    In previous years I’d have scoured the internet for a copy of the manual. Now, of course, I can put the model number into AI and a Kryten‑type response will tell me everything I need to know. This model of Wharfedale predates Freeview. To watch over‑the‑air stuff I’d need a separate box.

    Thankfully I had an unused Fire Stick. That would do.

    Knowing I can’t turn certain buttons, surely this will fix my remote woes. After a lengthy attempt at remote tuning, Kryten tells me that Wharfedale TVs very often go faulty on the on/off circuit. Okay…

    So no regular TV, but streaming apps. Not quite how we set out, but not so bad.

    Score: Money Spent £5 Time Spent: 1 hr 35 minutes (pratting around with analogue tuner and universal remote codes) Sanity Level: FINE — got to be, hasn’t it

    I ordered a Blu‑ray player from Cash Converters. £10, no remote, but heck — I only need to press play. Or so I thought.

    Nope. The last owner used 1080p, and my little bedroom fiver telly is 720p. Okay, I can just change the setting. But there’s no remote.

    Kryten, help.

    I have a Wii U with a universal remote feature. I bring the GamePad. After a lengthy setup process it turns the player on and off… and that’s it. Kryten advises me this is because the Wii U is from 2012 and doesn’t do most universal features.

    Of course this advice comes after I’ve tried every remote code going.

    I remember a family member has one of those universal remotes they couldn’t get to work. They gladly pass it to me. Then finally… finally… I can see the Blu‑ray menu.

    Score: Money Spent £15 Time Spent: 2 hr 55 minutes (reset button presses, Wii U GamePad, different cables) Sanity Level: I’m getting a twitch

    Now I have one HDMI slot and two devices: one Fire Stick (TV) and my Blu‑ray player. That’s okay — I have an HDMI switcher (back to the attic). But the early promises go wrong again. The switch doesn’t make the HDMI handshake with the Blu‑ray player.

    I can make do changing cables at the start of the movie.

    Score: Money Spent £15 Time Spent: 3 hr 40 minutes (trying settings, swapping cables) Sanity Level: KO

    Last night I watched part of my movie. I used no bandwidth. The picture was good. But I fell asleep.

    Physical media is not the most convenient way. But in my opinion, at least, it’s worth it. I have films coming in the mail again for the first time in a long time. And those carboots should be more fun too — hunting for new discs.

  • Moonchild (1978): Misty’s Take on Carrie

    Comic panel with title

    I’m probably not the target audience for a comic like Misty. The late‑70s supernatural comic was aimed at girls, but while hunting for some obscure Halloween reads for the site, I’m glad I picked this one up.

    The tale: Rosemary has a moon‑shaped scar, just like her (off‑panel until the final act) grandmother. It’s the sign of telepathic powers. Rosemary’s mother is horrified by those powers.

    The setup feels familiar. This is very much a take on Stephen King’s Carrie, published only a few years earlier. The story beats are all there — the school bullies who see Rosemary as a witch, the rising tension, and the big party climax at the end.

    The writing from Pat Mills is good. The story is clear, episodic, and straightforward — and I don’t mean that negatively. It works. Whether it’s Norma’s gang taking out Rosemary’s best friend or her mother doing, well, Carrie’s mother things, it’s surprising how much they let through in 1970s comics. You do end up rooting for Rosemary, which is exactly what you want in a story like this.

    One thing I really liked is how unmistakably of‑its‑era the story is. The language, the phrasing, the way characters speak — it’s all very late‑70s. And visually, the clothes and styling lock it firmly into that time. Unfortunately, this story (and many others) wasn’t colourised.

    Compared with the more “in your face” horror of Scream — which we’ll get to later — Moonchild leans into slower supernatural tension. It’s welcome, and it suits the tone.

    I’m not the target audience, but this was a pretty good adaptation of Carrie.

  • Ranking Elm Street: The Dream Master

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours


    Number 6: Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

    We’ll come to the Dream Warriors a little later in the countdown. Why are they relevant here? Because Part 4 is a direct episodic continuation of Part 3. And Part 3 is one of the best Elm Street movies. (Do I think it’s the best? You’ll have to wait and see. But it’s damn close, and honestly it can vary depending on the day of the week.)

    So why would a direct sequel sit this low? A sequel with so much to like — and the highest‑grossing entry in the series, at least until Jason got involved.

    Let’s get the “bad” out of the way first, if you can even call it that. The Dream Warriors brilliantly tied up the Elm Street saga. It was a direct sequel to the first film, and Freddy was written out in a way that felt neat and final.

    Until a dog pee brought him back to life. How? Why?

    I guess the idea was that the ground the Dream Warriors buried him in was no longer hallowed. Then the newly resurrected Freddy slaughters the Dream Warriors in the first twenty minutes. I’m not sure why they decided to do that. If you watch these films back‑to‑back, it’s jarring.

    Now onto the good — and I’ve probably been harsh with this one’s placement. This is Freddy at his most MTV. He kills off the kids in more imaginative, over‑the‑top ways. There’s a scene where a character is turned into a giant cockroach. In many ways, this is the most 80s film I’ve ever seen.

    We also have a new heroine, Alice, who goes from shy and timid to defeating Freddy in the finale. And it’s not a fluke — her arc is earned.

    From here, we depart from the Elm Street formula. The next film pits Freddy against another horror icon in a grudge match that winds up being a lot of fun.

  • Ranking Elm Street: Freddy’s Dead

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours


    Number 7: Nightmare on Elm Street 6: Freddy’s Dead – The Final Nightmare

    Remember how I mentioned that as the films went on Freddy became more of a parody? Here he flies on a broomstick quoting The Wizard of Oz. This is the film largely known for jumping the shark. The kills come in very early‑90s ways — one character is even killed inside a video game. Because of this, I couldn’t rank the film any higher. But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to like.

    I remember the scenes showing a child‑free Springwood being quite surreal. It’s a “what happens if Freddy has killed all the young?” scenario. The adults of Springwood have all gone crazy. It’s not subtle, but it definitely leaves an impression.

    Then there’s the stuff with Freddy’s daughter, Maggie, being the one to finally kill him. It’s poetic, and almost certainly added just as a way to end Freddy for good. Because there are five films before this, and Krueger having a wife and daughter is never mentioned previously.

    It’s played too much for laughs, but it also feels like there might be a missed opportunity here. Could you imagine the weight of being Freddy’s daughter? The revelation comes too late in the film to really be explored, and the tone doesn’t try beyond Maggie existing to be the good and Freddy the bad.

    This film is fun. But it didn’t feel like the right send‑off for the series. That would come later.

  • Ranking Elm Street: Freddys Revenge

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours

    Number 8: Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge

    Many will disagree with me here. The reasons this one ranks eighth on our countdown we’ll get to soon, but let me start by saying there’s plenty to like.

    In later sequels, Freddy leans more into comedy than horror. In Part 2, he still has the menace of the first film, and the plot does something genuinely different with him.

    This is where the problem lies for me. I’m in agreement with Wes Craven’s take that this film exposes Freddy too much. His menace comes from being able to kill you while you sleep. In dreams, Freddy holds all the power. In this film, he crosses over into the waking world.

    Jesse is our main character — one of the only male leads in the Elm Street series, another departure from the usual formula. His girlfriend Lisa has a large role too. The story is essentially a possession film. Much has been said about the subtext, and you can very much class this film as of its time.

    It’s a short watch, clocking in at about an hour and twenty minutes. Definitely a part of horror history. And that VHS cover with the school bus was unforgettable.

    A few metres in the Dark Number 7:Freddy’s Dead

  • The Spaceman Steps Into the Night

    The scary season approaches, and we’ve got plenty coming up on the site.

    Barry Gibbons returns with Time Warped: Side B, this time looking at fear. I’ve had a read, and it’s a great set of thought‑provoking blogs featuring real experiences.

    The Analyst’s Retro Reaction heads back to the VHS shop to revisit that classic slasher series A Nightmare on Elm Street, where we rank the highs and lows of the franchise.
    Then later in the month we go Off Panel for a look at some classic Scream and Misty Comics from the 80s.

    This October: Something wicked this way comes

  • A Few Metres in the Dark

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours

    We go back to the 90s now. Barry’s video shop. The back wall was dedicated to what we now know as horror icons. You know the faces: Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Chucky, Ghostface — and the one that both fascinated and scared me the most, Freddy Krueger.

    Of course, I couldn’t rent these movies. I was still watching Adam West’s Batman because the new films were fifteen‑plus. So for a while, Freddy remained an oversized VHS box. Older friends had seen the films, though. They were more than happy to fill me in on all the details — and the scare factor.

    “Freddy 3 is my favourite, but if you think that’s scary don’t watch Freddy 1,” was something I remember. So in my head, these films became much more frightening than they really were.

    What scared me at the time was this: unlike the other boogeymen, Freddy came for you when you were sleeping. Sooner or later, everyone has to sleep. Freddy also almost exclusively killed teenagers, and I had just become a teenager. Sad as it is, that’s where your mind goes at a young age. Being able to separate fact from fiction came later.

    Then, one night in the mid‑1990s, an older friend was “babysitting” another friend in my year. This friend had Sky Movies and wanted everyone over at his. Because it was time to meet Freddy.

    As a group of friends we laughed and talked through most of it. I remember friends who had seen that particular film jumping at various moments. Another used mock knives to make the claw sound. It was all good fun. The film that night was Part 3. It blended horror with dark fantasy and is still one of my favourites.

    Then came time to leave. My house was only a small walk — a few metres, in fact, from my friend’s. A few metres in the dark, that is.

    The babysitter looked at me, then out at the night, and sighed. “I’ll walk you home,” he said. Thankfully he didn’t add a phrase like I’ll be right back into that conversation.

    Thanks, Anthony.

    It’s October… it’s the dark month. It’s time to finally revisit Elm Street.

    Number 8: Freddy’s Revenge

  • When Nintendo’s Crown Jewels Washed Up with Ocean

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours

    The early 80s was a difficult time for gaming. You hear many horror stories about the Video Games Crash of ’83 — those Atari carts of E.T. all being taken to landfill.

    However, these stories all come from the same place: the United States. Across here, there was no video game crash. Instead, we had classroom wars about whether the ZX Spectrum or the Commodore 64 was the best home computer. Gaming was very much still a thing over here, and we were in those years where Nintendo had yet to launch its home console.

    The story is very similar to how Nintendo games ended up on Atari: licensing deals. This era, though, had some UK anomalies. Atari had the US rights to develop games like Mario Bros. Here in the UK, Ocean Software had the converted licences to Nintendo’s crown jewels.

    You’ll hear a lot about Ocean and bad games, but it’s not necessarily true. The Batman 1989 game on the home computers — particularly the Amiga — wasn’t bad. Their versions of Rainbow Islands and Robocop were also pretty good, in my opinion. I’m sure, as the late Queen once said, recollections may vary.

    With the amount of games they were churning out in the early 80s, Ocean acquired licences for anything they could: Robocop, Rambo, Batman, Hook, Jurassic Park, Knight Rider, early WWF… I’m sure there were more. Turnaround times, from what I understand, were fast. If you had a home computer, chances are you had an Ocean game.

    Granted, I’ve now played the Atari version of Donkey Kong, and it’s probably slightly better — only because Mario’s movements seem more precise. I played that one years later on the C64 Mini. But the Ocean version is recognisably Donkey Kong, and had this been my introduction to the game, I wouldn’t have been too disappointed either.

    Plus, all those movie licenses meant that the Ocean games lined up looked like the VHS shelf at Barry’s Video Shop. Speaking of which… we’re approaching the haunting month of Halloween, and we never did get around to discussing those films Barry wouldn’t rent me …

    More next time

  • When Nintendo Were Multiplatform

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours

    Mario on Atari

    I’ve always been a Nintendo fan. These days I’m happy to stay a few generations behind (Yes I own a Wii U), but their exclusives have always been fun to play particular with younger family.

    Of course preferring retro games over modern the Super Mario Series is something I’ve gone back to many times.

    Always though these games are locked behind that Nintendo hardware. Want to play Mario, Zelda or Donkey Kong then you need a Nintendo of some description.

    Well that wasn’t always the case.

    In 1983 The Atari 2600 got the legendary Nintendo arcade title Donkey Kong. Here in the UK it was from CB electronics but this stemmed from an American deal Coleco (As in Colecovision Atari’s rival from the 1st console war).

    This 2600 port only featured 2 levels of the Arcade. It’s blocky and Donkey Kong doesn’t look properly like Donkey Kong (yet) but it’s playable and it must have been a hell of an effort considering the 2600 hardware limitations

    We got Donkey Kong Jnr from CB Electronics in the UK under that same licence deal. This time only one stage was missing. Yes it was primitive and missing power ups. But it was another Nintendo title that was introduced to players during the Atari run.

    Then in 1983 the Arari got the Mario Bros. Four years before Super Mario Bros on the NES would redefine the platforming landscape the coop platformer the Mario Bros was on Atari. This coop platform game. For anyone who jumped on from Super Mario Bros this game might seem unrecognisable. For those who jumped on at Mario Bros 3 this will feel like someone made a full game based on that mini game battle mode in that game.

    Actually, Nintendo were making callbacks as early as 1988.

    Mario Bros on the Atari was not a rare game by any stretch. Researching for this blog I can’t find the actual sales number. But most people I know who had an Atari had the Mario Bros it was almost as common as Pac Man.

    Was the port any good. Well, again given the limitations of the 2600, yes the port was very good. Much better too in the 2 player mode.

    There you have it. The Nintendo characters that did appear on a non Nintendo console.

    So what about us home computer fans…

    Well I’m getting to that. Catch you in the next one.