Beware The Spaceman

Author: Analyst

  • Wake up — it’s time to leave Dreamland

    Wake up — it’s time to leave Dreamland

    a spaceship above the world with title

    Last week, my brother finally got bitten by the nostalgia bug. He was about to buy a PlayStation on eBay.
    “Why?” I asked. “Yours is still in my attic.”

    So it was — though it took some finding. Eventually I unearthed it in a travel case, alongside an artifact that genuinely shook me.

    The artifact in question? A Super Mario Bros. alarm clock from 1992. Mario looks like he’s been at the mushrooms a little more than usual, and somehow, despite not seeing this thing for at least 20 years, the LED display was still lit.

    Back in the day, this clock came with an instruction manual printed in size‑zero font. You practically needed a PhD to set the alarm correctly. More than once, at 2am, it would wake my entire family with the theme from SMB3 and the yell of:
    “Wake up — it’s time to leave Dreamland!”

    This clock had sat in the attic for two decades, quietly ticking away the seconds, minutes, hours, and days of my life. Once, when that alarm went off, I was at school — and had mistakenly stolen the line guides. (Still sorry, Mr Welton.)

    For now, Mario sits in my spare room, perched on top of the Nintendo. Waiting.

    Because you never know when it’ll be time to leave Dreamland.

  • Barry Gibbons Is SpaceMan

    The biggest news from this past week: guest blogger Barry Gibbons’ TimeWarped makes its debut right here on Beware The Spaceman.

    Barry begins his unreliable narrations by looking back at his time in the scout group and asking questions about the importance of measured achievements.

    Elsewhere on the site, we’re in full Atari mode as Retro Reaction takes a look at Missile Command for the Atari 2600, and Forever 80s dives into the previously unreleased Aquaventure, also on the Atari 2600.

  • Aquaventure Atari’s Lost Treasure

    Aquaventure Atari’s Lost Treasure

    Cassette tape with title

    Remember that scuba‑diving game from 1983 on the Atari 2600? No? That’s because it wasn’t officially released until 2022 — though it did sneak onto a few official retro collections before that.

    And as we’ll be covering, Atari is not dead in 2026.

    So how does this underwater adventure play? Pretty well, actually. You dive down to collect points from the sea floor — a sea floor that keeps getting deeper — then race back to the surface within a set time limit. Rather than admire the fish, our scuba diver can shoot them for points.

    There’s a catch, though. When you shoot the fish, they return faster, and if you collide with one, you lose a life. It’s a classic high‑score chaser.

    So why wasn’t it released back then? Most likely it was a casualty of the Video Game Crash — an event that mostly affected the American market. Here in the UK, games continued to thrive as the home‑computer scene exploded with names like the ZX Spectrum and the Commodore. Machines that are also not dead in 2026. More on those as we press ahead.

    So where does Aquaventure sit? Would it have set the world alight in 1983? Well… possibly not. But it would have been another addictive score‑chaser for the 2600, one with a refreshingly different setting too.

  • Atari Set 1.1 Missile Command

    Atari Set 1.1 Missile Command

    The threat of nuclear war is maybe an odd concept for a video game. In Missile Command you’re trying to stop your bases being hit by incoming missiles. The year is 1981, and this is the 2600 version.

    In true 2600 fashion it’s a high‑score chaser. There’s a story about two opposing planets, it’s in the manual but really doesn’t matter in play. Let’s be honest — the game is a reflection of the Cold War.

    I’ve played the arcade version and found the controls awkward, probably because I used an Evercade and later a PS4 controller. The arcade cabinet really needed its trackball.

    The 2600 version, though… well, it’s not much to look at. The vector‑style graphics — especially the explosion when you die — remind me of the flashes of colour I get with migraines. The box art is fantastic, but in‑game your imagination is doing the heavy lifting. Look past that and you’ve got a very playable take on the arcade machine. My favourite, actually.

    Gameplay is simple: shoot down the missiles before they blow up your bases. They get faster and faster as the game goes on.

    Is this up there with Donkey Kong, Space Invaders, and Pac‑Man? I think so. It’s one I came to later in life rather than at release. It’s almost the reverse of Space Invaders — you’re defending your base instead of shooting down aliens.

    If you want to play this classic today, it’s easy to find: Evercade Atari 1 (now Legacy), Atari 50 on all major platforms, and the Antstream Arcade service.

  • First Party Atari

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours

    The Atari 2600 was technically the second generation of video game consoles, but for many it was the first system they ever owned. Its importance in the history of video games can’t be overstated. It made video games mainstream and, more importantly, it was my favourite toy.

    Ours was the wood‑panelled machine in the kitchen, hooked up to a black‑and‑white TV. I had classics like Pac‑Man and Frostbite. But as my earliest memories were forming in the late ’80s and early ’90s, finding 2600 games “in the wild” was becoming difficult.

    Then one day we switched it on, there was a pop, and the smell of electrical burning. The 2600 was no more. That very same day, Blue Peter declared it a collector’s item.

    With Reaction back, we’re celebrating Atari across the blogs.
    Here’s what’s coming up as we look at first‑party Atari titles.
    All of these games are (thankfully) accessible today through a variety of modern systems.

    1.1 Mission Command — Atari 2600
    One of Atari’s more famous games. We take a look at the well‑received 2600 version.

    1.2 Quantum — Arcade
    A hidden gem I discovered through the Atari 50 compilation.

    1.3 Food Fight — Atari 7800
    Because the 7800 version is my favourite take on this classic.

    1.4 Adventure — Atari 2600
    Before Zelda, before The Witcher, we had Adventure. The bare‑bones foundations of the RPG genre have been here since 1980.

    1.5 Tempest 2000 — Atari Jaguar
    We’re with the Jaguar for the final two games. This one was arguably the system’s best first‑party title.

    1.6 Cybermorph — Atari Jaguar
    “Where did you learn to fly?” A technical showcase for the Jaguar — but is it much more?

  • Down The Rabbit Hole..

    Down The Rabbit Hole..

    It started with the 2nd ever console I ever bought new: Blaze’s Evercade handheld.

    I don’t buy much gaming‑wise that isn’t on sale digitally or reconditioned these days. What sold it to me as a must‑buy? The names on the front. That Atari logo, Pac‑Man was on there. It felt like this was a return of old friends.

    Yes, I have played with RetroPie and those handhelds that store 1000s of games. But these were licensed cartridges too.

    I know what you’re thinking here. Pac‑Man, Atari. This is just another Retro Reaction blog…

    But it’s not. Because some of these Evercade games had modern release dates.

    This opened up the rabbit hole for me. What if those consoles and computers we loved never went away?

    What if, in some kind of parallel world, it is always nineteen‑eighty‑something and I’m going to go play my Atari, or NES, or Commodore?

    Welcome to Neverending 80s.

    Next time we look at a game created in 1983 but released in 2022 for the Atari 2600 — it’s Aquaventure.

  • SpaceMan the Legacy Sequel

    Beware The Spaceman was always home for those of us who’ve felt a little off‑planet. A place for outsiders to launch our own projects and ramble away in our own corner of the internet.
    That was its core, and it still is.

    Then we all got middle‑aged… and sidetracked by life, for better or worse. A lot has happened since our doors were last open. Those doors are still important.
    It was time to come back. Time to return…
    Home.

    And why not? The things I wrote about last time — all those Retro Reaction posts — well, most of our favorites have been brought back. The legacy sequel, or “re‑quel”, is a thing now.
    So what’s The Spaceman’s purpose in today’s landscape?

    On a personal level, it’s to get me back into that regular blog‑writing habit.
    Let’s make this fun again.
    Because right now, I think I need The Spaceman as much as it needs me.

    Here is what is coming up


    The Spaceman’s longest‑running blog is returning for a look at all things old‑school, starting with one of the oldest names in video games: Atari.

    Cassette tape with title
    A sister blog to Retro Reaction, where it is forever 1980‑something. A look at retro‑inspired media and homebrew games.

    Comic panel with title
    Remember Comic Culture? The decision has been made to retire that blog. However, in its place, Off Panel Analyst will be looking at all things on the page. (coming Soon)

    a spaceship above the world with title
    A more personal blog — part look‑back, part diary. Technical stuff and life ramblings. (coming Soon)