Beware The Spaceman

Author: Analyst

  • Retro Reaction 2.4 My brother gets Sonic

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours

    I finally had access to Sonic with enough time to get a bit further. That darn Labyrinth Zone with the bubbles and the time limit.

    Speaking of time limits — that’s exactly what I had. This wasn’t my system, and I had a SNES that I played to death (and there’ll be plenty more about that in the coming weeks). So whatever games my brother wanted to play took priority.

    I’ve never been a football fan, but when it wasn’t two‑player fighting or wrestling games (loved them), my brother would be playing FIFA. Which meant no matter what Sonic level you were on, if his mates turned up, it was FIFA time.

    His Mega Drive did, however, have a copy of the Sonic sequel, Sonic 2, and that one was two‑player. The odd thing is, I’ve played this game since, and today I see it as the amazing game it is.

    Back then, Emerald Hill just didn’t seem as good or as iconic as Green Hill Zone. Sonic was faster but didn’t feel as controllable. Maybe I was having Zool flashbacks. In truth, had I spent more time with Sonic 2, I’d probably have appreciated it much earlier.

    But… FIFA.

    Of course, I’d played my Master System version of Sonic 2 years before — the one with the hand glider. I was also well up on Sonic lore, because in the midst of Sonic mania there was a TV show and a comic. I’ve always been a little bit gaming‑obsessed.

    More on those next time.

  • Tanglewood belongs with the Sega greats

    Cassette tape with title
    Tanglewood box art

    I remember finishing Tanglewood and immediately heading online to state that this 2018 Sega Mega Drive game belongs alongside the greats. I stand by it.

    The game from Big Evil Corporation is so well designed, especially with its pixel art. On first glance it would be easy to mistake it for a Sonic clone, or an attempt at another mascot platformer. But that’s not the case. It’s a platform puzzler.

    Nymn, a creature that looks a lot like a fox (if I remember rightly it’s set on another planet), has to rescue Fuzzls by rolling them back to their nests much like balls of yarn. Once in the nest, the Fuzzls grant you a temporary power that can be used to solve more puzzles and save more Fuzzls.

    There is no real combat in the game. The monsters are all part of the puzzle and can be trapped. The platforming elements share their DNA with those mascot platformers mentioned earlier, but the puzzles are more in line with something like Lemmings.

    I find it truly astonishing that a system released over thirty‑five years ago is still capable of providing new games like this. It’s not a high‑score chase, or a platformer based on skill or speed. It is its own experience entirely. It reminded me of everything I loved about the Mega Drive era.

    Coded by Matt Phillips in assembly language specifically for the Mega Drive, games like this are why the real gaming era will never die.

    Tanglewood is available on most major platforms, Evercade and of course the Mega Drive

  • Retro Reaction 2.3 There is no Sonic only Zool

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours
    zool cover

    This was one of those occasions where I fell for the hype. The games magazines insisted Zool was a Sonic killer, throwing out scores as high as 95%. Launching around the same time as Sonic 2, it gave Amiga fans something to look forward to.

    In truth, even back then I wasn’t looking for a Sonic killer—I just wanted a Sonic alternative. Nintendo had Super Mario, Sega had Sonic. What about us Amiga owners? Adult me now knows the Amiga had many other strengths. It’s the machine I credit for introducing me to the skills I use daily, including the ones I’m using to write this very blog.

    It’s not like the machine couldn’t do strong arcade gaming either. I remember playing a lot of Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat on the system. The only downside, of course, was those floppy disks—changing them every match. There are definitely more reactions to come from this computer system.

    But back to Zool. I’m perhaps overly harsh here because my expectations didn’t meet reality. Zool looked good—really good—but five minutes controlling the Ninja from the Nth Dimension made it clear this wasn’t Sonic.

    Like Sonic, it was fast-paced. But unlike Sonic, Zool was a nightmare to control. I could never quite see where I needed to jump, so certain death happened far more often than I’d like. It also had one of those collector objectives where you needed to gather a set number of items before moving to the next level.

    I played it quite a lot. Then things changed again. I soon switched back to console gaming—this time a SNES. My brother had a new system too: the Sega Mega Drive. And guess what game came with it.

  • Retro Reaction 2.2 – We Have Sonic at Home

    Retro Reaction in ZX Spectrum colours

    I immediately went into bragging mode down the street. I have a Sega and it’s better than yours. Yes, I was that naïve and that big‑headed as a kid.

    But my Sonic looked different to Steve’s. He ran through Green Hill Zone, sure — but the layout was different. And then came the Bridge Zone, not Marble Zone. The music in this game was great too. The Bridge and Jungle Zone themes especially had me humming along without even realising.

    Was it perfect? No. But I didn’t care. This was my version of Sonic and it was awesome. And honestly, I still love this Master System version. Long‑time readers will know I have a lot of respect for Sega’s Master System anyway.

    This console was so cool that if you started it without a game in the slot, you got Alex Kidd. There’s a reaction for the future.

    The reaction from down the street to our Master System, though, was more: “That’s nice… anyway, back to Steve’s.”

    Sonic on Master System is one of the few games I’ve actually completed. But this console opened the door to so many games I still play today — Disney’s great platformers like Jungle Book, Mickey Mouse: Castle of Illusion, and of course more Sonic titles.

    Here in the UK, the Master System was actually more popular than the NES.

    But time moved on, and eventually it was time for me to plunge into the 16‑bit era. Would this finally mean the Sega Mega Drive? For my brother, yes. My choice, though, was another brand big in the UK. I got myself a Commodore Amiga.

    It had its own mascot platformer at the time — and its name was Zool.

  • Butlins at 90: Mind the Cracks

    a spaceship above the world with title

    Long‑term readers may recall my very biased feelings about this place in Skegness. Butlins is hallowed ground for this family. Butlins can do no wrong.

    Yes, the rose tint is real — but that’s coming from a guy who writes more about the past than the present. Today’s version is nothing like the place I loved in the 90s: the monorail, the outdoor pool, and of course the kids’ clubs we all adored.

    I’ve witnessed the magic this place holds myself, and I’ve seen that same magic spark in the nephews.

    During a performance of Rock Theatre, one nephew had already left, worn out after the day’s activities. Then a message came over the speakers: “We need to pause this show due to technical difficulties.” Common enough, but the kids had seen it — the crack in the Butlins experience. And once you see one crack, you start spotting more. The queue wrapped around the whole shop, and then for swimming, and then the bar. That’s three. The splash fountains not starting on time, half the fairground rides closed. The cracks are there.

    Butlins isn’t alone in having them. But unlike, say, the mighty Disney, it’s not quite as good at hiding them. Some of those cracks were more obvious because of the heatwave — an unusual stretch of good weather. Others, I suspect, were down to being understaffed. And you have to wonder if that’s a choice… and if it is, whether it needs a rethink.

    But for this year, the kids had a great time. The place remains special, largely untarnished, and I’ll be doing everything I can not to see the cracks. I’m rooting for you, Butlins — even though I know that’s an uphill battle once the kids get older.

    The Butlins magic belongs to childhood. There will always be a last dance with the Skyline Gang — we just don’t know when. Don’t look for those cracks, kids. Not yet.

  • Retro Reaction 2.1 Sonic at Steve’s House

    The year is 1991, and at the Consumer Electronics Show in Chicago, Nintendo are proudly showing off their latest Mario installment — a game already being talked about as one of the greatest of all time. They’re demonstrating how gorgeous it looks, how many colours they can squeeze onto the screen, and how polished their platforming formula has become.

    But the real crowd‑puller is over at the Sega stand.

    Sega’s blue mascot is front and centre, and this new game has blast processing. It’s everything Mario wasn’t. Mario was slower, deliberate, full of secrets and atmosphere. This thing? It was fast, loud, had a soundtrack that slapped, and — let’s be honest — it was cool.

    Sega were right in Nintendo’s face, practically shouting: “Have a load of that!”
    As Street Fighter once declared: Here comes a new challenger.

    Fast‑forward to nineteen‑ninety‑something and my mate Steve has a new games system. A system with blast processing. For what feels like forever, Steve becomes the most popular kid down our row.

    When it finally cycled round to my turn, I could just about finish Green Hill Zone. But Marble Zone? Instant kills everywhere. I longed to see what was waiting on that next level.

    I could go on here about what’s widely regarded as one of the best games ever made — but it’s all been said before. What I will admit is that my brother and I pestered and pestered until we finally got ourselves a Sega.

    We were successful… with a small caveat.

    We opened our Sega, and yes, it had Sonic. But it wasn’t the Sega Mega Drive we thought we were getting.
    It was a Sega Master System.

  • Retro Reaction 2.0 My Sonic Journey


    Last month Sega’s mascot turned 35 years old, which is the sort of milestone that instantly makes you feel ancient.
    Thinking back to the Sonic games of the 1990s, there isn’t much I can add that hasn’t already been said. So… we won’t. And we will.

    For this next Reaction set, I’m talking you through my Sonic journey. As a fan of mascot platformers in the 90s, this was the start of a long-running obsession — and my route to Sonic was about as straightforward as one of those time‑travel stages on Sonic CD.

    Here’s what’s coming up.

    Sonic The Hedgehog at a mate’s house


    It’s the early 1990s and a friend down the road has a Mega Drive — plus a game unlike anything my Master System or Amiga had ever seen. This was my first glimpse of Sega’s flagship speedster.

    We have Sonic at home


    Eventually we get a Sega… but it’s a Sega Master System. The good news: it comes with Sonic. The 8‑bit Sonic. Sounds like a downgrade? My reaction might not be what you expect.

    We have Sonic at home


    By this point I’m more of a “computer guy”, so my Sonic substitute arrives on floppy disks. It’s supposed to match Sega’s mascot beat‑for‑beat, but the fast‑paced action comes with loading screens.

    Sonic on my brother’s Mega Drive


    My brother gets a Mega Drive, which means I finally get proper access to Sonic — and, for the first time, the sequel.

    Sonic Overload


    From Sonic the Comic and the TV series to swapping issues of Computer and Video Games magazine, the Sonic universe expands fast. There are still Sonic games we haven’t even played yet.

    Sonic Origins


    Finally, as an adult, I played through the Sonic Origins collection on modern hardware. Does it deliver the Retro Reaction you’d expect?

  • Atari Set 1.6 Cybermorph (Jaguar)

    Cybermorph box art

    Get ready to hear the words “Where did you learn to fly” a lot. This was a showcase game for the Atari Jaguar — Atari’s last console. It’s a 3D flying game about collecting things and shooting things. The issue is… Nintendo had already released Starfox on the, at that point, much older SNES.

    Nintendo had cheated slightly by including the FX chip in the cartridge to keep the SNES competitive with Sega’s add‑ons. This, I think, proved to be the best strategy. So at the time, Cybermorph, with its flat 3D shapes, didn’t really impress. Its lack of soundtrack didn’t help either.

    Playing today on the Atari 50 Collection, I find I’m playing a relic I should like. The formula that goes all the way back to the 2600 is there — it’s present. It is, after all, a space shooter. But that’s the issue: I wanted to like it. Of the Jaguar games I’ve played, I think Tempest 2000 is probably the better example.

    We’re now at the point where the PSX is around the corner. The writing was on the wall for Atari. But going full circle on our retro revivals… Atari is not dead. You can go to Amazon right now and buy a 2600, and the games are available in multiple formats.

    But for now, Reaction leaves Atari at the Jaguar. I’ll catch you in the next one.

  • Atari Set 1.5 Tempest 2000 (Atari Jaguar)

    We’re jumping forward this time for Atari. The year is 1994, and Atari are trying to re‑enter the console market with the Atari Jaguar. This console was marketed as 64‑bit, though that would be disputed — it used two 32‑bit processors. Its controller also let it down. Atari had chosen a telephone‑keypad‑like thing, something I think must have been inspired by the 2600’s old rival, the Intellivision.

    I’ve only ever seen one Atari Jaguar up close — at a market when I was a teenager. I didn’t have the cash to get one, and to be honest, by the mid‑1990s the Atari name had been out of the console limelight for a good few years.

    The market at this time was the latter end of the 16‑bit generation. We were only a year away from Sony entering the gaming landscape and changing things forever.

    This all brings me to Tempest 2000, arguably one of the only must‑have titles on the Atari Jaguar. Much like the 2600’s best, it went back to what Atari did well: a high‑score chase.

    You just blast the baddies before they reach the top of the 3D shape. At its core, the gameplay is close to the 1981 original — but now with 3D visuals and CD‑quality sound.

    It’s worth bearing in mind that arcades were still going strong at this point. The PSX hadn’t arrived yet with its catalogue of near‑arcade‑perfect ports, and the high‑score chase was still very much a thing.

    It’s worth a play now, but the easiest way is through the Atari 50 Collection. Jaguars today can be expensive, and I’ve rarely spotted one in the wild.

  • Bob the Last Real Car: A Love Story Written in Rust

    a spaceship above the world with title
    cartoon rusty honda

    I have quite a history with driving. One I’m sure we’ll delve into in the future, but to spoil things a little: I think I must have failed a driving test on nearly every road in Scunthorpe.

    Driving comes easy to some people, and I’ve always been a little jealous of that. The compromise that seems to work? Using an automatic car to simplify the controls, and Google Maps to prompt each direction.

    The moment I saw Bob’s advert on Auto Trader, I was thrilled to see he ticked all the boxes. My previous cars had all died with some kind of electrical failure, usually in the manual hybrid gearboxes. Bob has an old CVT gearbox. The controls are so simple he could be a go‑kart. A true old automatic.

    Right here is where I probably made my mistake. Bob is old — sixteen years old at this point. He has one red mirror and one black. His paintwork has gone a little dull with time. His last MOT revealed his aches and pains with the amount of rust cautions on there.

    The first trip to see my dad in the new car got a few comments… ones like “How much did you pay for that!”, the shake of the head, and “They saw you coming.”

    Bob was giving a bit of a groan when pulling off, so I took him to my local mechanic for a gear‑oil change. He too had a similar viewpoint to my dad: “I’m just saying, don’t throw a load of money at him.”

    The consensus seems to be that Bob is terminal. But aren’t we all?

    The two previous cars (one much newer than Bob) let me down with those electrical failures I mentioned. I’m not precious about him getting a knock when parked up. Above all, I don’t like many cars — but I like Bob.

    So come MOT time next year, will it be time to say goodbye? Or am I likely to be looking for some welding for Bob to dodge the car grim reaper for another year?

    I know which one my heart is saying. But for now: keep going, Bob. Please keep going.